A satirical take on the fantasy world of Excel mis-education. By Hiran de Silva.
In the age of disruption, where buzzwords buzz louder than facts, let us now gather in reverent awe at the altar of the newest orthodoxy: Elephants can fly.
Yes, you heard correctly. Elephants. Can. Fly.
No, this isn’t a scene from a Disney remake. This is the polished truth in some curious corners of corporate reality—a place where PowerPoints pass for proof, and metaphors mutate into management strategy.
The Cult of Disruption (Now With More Wings)
“Disruptor” used to be a word reserved for unruly children and malfunctioning fire alarms. Now it’s a badge of honour, a TED Talk starter pack, a Silicon Valley baptismal rite. Disruptors are the brave few who shatter the status quo. They question our assumptions. They break the rules. And occasionally, they make the rest of us wonder if we’re in a Monty Python sketch.
But why is disruption needed in the first place?
Because, dear reader, the status quo is often a pantomime. Out there in the real world, tools are misused, processes are outdated, and whole departments have been built on a foundation of spaghetti logic wrapped in good intentions and duct tape.
Enter the disruptor: not with a sledgehammer, but with a spreadsheet, showing us that we’ve been filing taxes with crayons all along.
Peeling Back the Veil: When Flying Elephants Are the Norm
Now let’s return to our majestic airborne elephant.
You see, when you question the idea that elephants can fly, you’re branded a cynic. “Of course they can fly!” they cry. “I’ve flown in a Jumbo Jet a dozen times this year!”
Ah. Jumbo.
The etymological stew thickens. You mean that 400-tonne aluminum tube designed by engineers? The 747, nicknamed “Jumbo Jet”?
“Well, yes. But Jumbo means elephant. So, there you go. Elephants fly.”
This, friends, is where metaphor and muddle shake hands in the dim lighting of LinkedIn logic. The original “Jumbo”—actually Jambo—was an unusually large elephant paraded around Victorian London like a circus-sized SUV. But somewhere along the historical telephone line, “Jambo” became “Jumbo,” Jumbo became Boeing, and Boeing became… an airborne elephant?
Voilà! Metaphor is now mistaken for fact.
This is the same intellectual alchemy that turns “modern Excel” into “no VBA allowed,” or “cloud-first” into “I forgot how to save locally.”
Preaching to the Converted (and Selling Them Elephant Wings)
In a world where truth is what gets the most likes, there’s a ready audience for belief-based business models.
These are the converted. They have a worldview, a playlist of preferred facts, and a sacred trust in the prophets of popular platforms. Tell them elephants can fly—and especially if that elephant runs on subscription licensing and integrates with Teams—they will believe you. They will cheer you on. They will upvote your metaphor into a whitepaper.
But dare to disrupt their belief? Suggest that perhaps, just perhaps, we are confusing a metaphorical “Jumbo” with the biological Elephas maximus?
You monster.
Disruption, after all, is only welcome when it reinforces the worldview of the audience. If your disruption threatens to puncture the comfort zone? Now you’re just being negative.
The Cost of Confusion: Opportunity Lost in the Clouds
Believing elephants can fly might be harmless if you’re writing bedtime stories. But when that belief governs purchasing decisions, training programs, or enterprise architecture, the cost is real.
And opportunity cost? That’s the silent killer. The unseen value never unlocked because the disruptive truth was too disruptive to believe.
Because sometimes, disruption is just another word for telling the truth to people who don’t want to hear it.
Final Boarding Call
So, in summary:
Yes, elephants can fly—if you mistake metaphors for mechanisms, slogans for strategy, and marketing for meaning.
But maybe it’s time we asked a few inconvenient questions.
Maybe it’s time we reminded the boardroom that not everything that flies is an elephant, and not every disruptor is a heretic.
Sometimes, the person pointing out that elephants don’t have wings isn’t being difficult.
They’re just trying to keep your feet—and your budget—on the ground.
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