VBA Will Never Be Obsolete – Part 4: The Abbey Road Zebra Crossing Sketch

In Part Four of the “VBA Will Never Be Obsolete” series, we turn to a metaphor that humorously yet powerfully captures the misplaced priorities and misunderstandings surrounding Excel automation today: the Abbey Road zebra crossing sketch.

Imagine you are trying to cross a road — a real, heavy London road. Let’s call it Abbey Road for effect. Now, there are many ways to get to the other side. Some are complicated, some expensive, some absurdly elaborate — and then there’s the obvious.

Here are your choices:

1. Call an Uber: It does a U-turn, drives you across, drops you on the opposite pavement.
2. Use London Transport: Walk to Finchley Road Station, take the Bakerloo line south to St John’s Wood, then walk back five minutes to where you started — but on the other side.
3. Hire a Helicopter: Make your way to Lord’s Cricket Ground, board an Uber Copter, fly to Regent’s Park, land, and walk from there.
4. Or — just use the zebra crossing. The exact one immortalised by the Beatles.

Of course, any rational person would ask: “Why not just walk across at the zebra crossing?” It’s safe, direct, and it works.

But now imagine you are selling Uber rides, promoting the Tube, or launching an elite helicopter taxi service. You wouldn’t want your audience to know about the zebra crossing. You’d downplay it. Suppress it. Perhaps even pretend it doesn’t exist. And if you can convince enough people that the zebra crossing is outdated, boring, or uncool — then your alternative suddenly looks innovative and necessary.

That is the heart of the sketch. And it’s a perfect analogy for the current state of Excel automation discourse, particularly the widespread misinformation about VBA.

The Zebra Crossing is VBA

The “zebra crossing” in this metaphor is VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) — the direct, built-in, reliable way to manipulate objects within Excel. It’s how you control what happens in the spreadsheet: moving data, formatting cells, interacting with databases, automating tasks. It’s fast. It’s simple. And it’s been doing the job reliably for decades.

But now the conversation is dominated by flashier, more convoluted methods: Office Scripts, Power Query, Python for Excel, and other emerging tech — all fine tools in their own right, but often misrepresented as replacements for VBA.

Paul Barnhurst’s question — essentially asking whether we should get rid of VBA — is like asking whether we should eliminate all zebra crossings just because some people are excited about Uber Copters.

A Concept, Not Just a Tool

Zebra crossings aren’t unique to Abbey Road. The concept — a marked pedestrian crossing where traffic must yield — exists in cities worldwide. Likewise, VBA is not just a Microsoft relic. It represents a universal programming principle: giving the user the ability to manipulate software objects directly and programmatically.

The function of VBA is not replaceable by technologies that don’t serve the same purpose. Power Query doesn’t let you automate the user interface. Office Scripts doesn’t run natively on the desktop. Python is overkill for basic in-app object manipulation. These tools are not “zebra crossings” — they are detours, workarounds, and in some cases, round-the-houses misdirections.

What Happens If You Remove the Zebra Crossing?

If, hypothetically, we removed the zebra crossing, what would happen?

Eventually, a new crossing would appear — perhaps even in the exact same spot — because the business case for safe, direct crossing remains. In software terms: if you eliminate VBA without providing something equally accessible and integrated, users will rebuild VBA-like systems anyway. Because the need never went away.

So when social media influencers say VBA is dead, they are often simply unaware of the crossing. Or worse, they’re incentivized to ignore it, in favor of more “modern” tools they can build hype around. The problem is that many newer users, not knowing any better, assume the zebra crossing must be obsolete — because no one seems to be talking about it.

Conclusion

VBA is not obsolete. The demand it meets is not obsolete. And the logic of VBA — simple, clear, effective — is as essential today as ever.

The next time someone suggests a 15-step journey across the road, or insists on calling a Python helicopter, just remember: sometimes, all you need is to walk across the painted lines — like the Beatles did.

And that, right there, is VBA.