What To Learn: How Do People Know What They Really Want?

Good afternoon, everyone. This is Hiran de Silva. I’ve got Bill reading this for me.

Welcome to today’s lecture on a rather intriguing and essential question: *How do people know what they really want?*

Let’s begin with a familiar situation. Imagine you’re in the heart of London and you encounter a group of tourists trying to get to St. Paul’s Cathedral. They’re looking at a map and trying to figure out whether to take the Tube east or west. This sounds straightforward, right? They’ve asked you for directions, and you, being familiar with London’s Tube system, explain both routes, detailing how one may be slightly quicker than the other. Eastward being one change less.

However, also because you are familiar with this part of London, the financial district of the City of London, you can show them that St Paul’s is in fact within walking distance from where they are! Right here. So while the London Underground tube map is a highly respected source of truth since 1935, your domain knowledge supersedes that in the given context.

But there’s more. The question isn’t as simple as it seems. The tourists are asking how to reach St. Paul’s, but what if they don’t know what they truly want? They think they’re asking for directions to St. Paul’s, but what if, deep down, their real desire is something else–perhaps to relive the recent coronation of King Charles? In that case, they’re heading to the wrong destination altogether, because that took place at Westminster Abbey, in Westminster, not St. Paul’s in the City.

This example highlights a fundamental problem: people often believe they know what they want, but have they truly thought it through? The ‘literal’ answer to their question is correct, but it doesn’t meet their true need. And this is a pattern we see over and over in many areas of life–be it in personal decisions, business strategies, or even something as seemingly technical as learning Excel.

The Limits of Literal Thinking.

Let’s dig deeper into this. Have you ever heard the story of the man in the hot air balloon? He descends near a field and asks a man below, “Where am I?” The man replies, “You’re in a basket of a balloon.” The answer is correct, yet utterly useless because it misses the deeper question: “Where am I *really*?” Similarly, when the tourists ask for directions to St. Paul’s, the literal answer might be right, but does it address their underlying emotional or experiential need? Probably not. They’d need to take the Circle and District tube line and go on to Westminster, not get off at Embankment.

This distinction between literal and deeper understanding of need is crucial. Literal thinking focuses on the surface, providing technically correct answers. But as we’ll explore, what people often truly need is not the literal, but something of deeper meaning to them.

Knowledge and Experience: Beyond the Literal.

It was a delight to meet with Craig Hatmaker and his family visiting London recently. Many of you know him. They asked me how to get to Tottenham Court Road Station. Being familiar with the area, I was about to direct them in a very literal way–go diagonally, take the Tube westward. But then, I asked the more important question: “Where are you staying?” They replied, “Acton Town.” Immediately, the entire scenario shifted. They would be taking the new Elizabeth Line. They didn’t need to go to the main Tottenham Court Road at all. The entrance to the Elizabeth Line, also called Tottenham Court Road, is at the top of the road we were already on, having pancakes. Rather delicious too. If they had taken the literal answer, they would have had to walk diagonally to the main station, and then double back, walk underground, to almost where we already were. Of course, the key is, I happened to know that the station called Tottenham Court Road on the new Elizabeth Line is physically a few blocks away from the existing Tottenham Court Road station, nearer to where we were. Not because I’m clairvoyant, but because I’m familiar with the territory. That’s called ‘domain knowledge’.

This illustrates how deeper knowledge–knowing more about what someone *actually needs*–can provide a better, more useful answer than simply responding to the literal question.

What Does This Have to Do with Excel?

So, how does this all connect to Excel and, more broadly, to the decisions we make about learning and growth?

Many of us in the Excel world are bombarded with advice on what to learn: Power Query, Lambda functions, dynamic arrays, and so on. These are the latest trends, the literal answers to “What should I learn in Excel?” But let’s step back and ask: What do you really *want*? What are your goals? What emotional or professional needs are you trying to fulfil?

If you look at the Excel ecosystem today, much of what’s being taught and promoted is tied to trends, and these trends often address surface-level desires: people want to be more efficient, to impress their bosses, to feel competent in their work. But are those the deeper motivations? Or are they simply conditioned responses to what’s popular on social media or what Excel influencers are pushing at the moment?

The Larger Dots in Your Brain.

Let’s visualize this concept. Imagine your brain as a collection of dots–each dot representing knowledge or experience. When you’re faced with a challenge, your brain tries to connect the dots it already has to provide a solution. Literal thinkers will connect the dots they’re most familiar with, often resulting in solutions that are obvious but perhaps limited. Some dots are larger, more prominent, than others. They have been promoted more by others, social media etc.

Lateral thinkers, on the other hand, connect dots in unexpected ways, forming new ideas and insights. But even lateral thinkers are constrained by the dots they already possess. Here’s the catch: like I said, some dots in your brain are larger than others, not because they’re more useful, but because they’ve been amplified by external influences–social media, marketing, popular opinion. Power Query might be one of those larger dots in the Excel world, not because it’s always the right tool, but because it’s been heavily promoted. These external forces shape our understanding of what’s important, whether or not it aligns with what we truly need.

And, in either case, your brain can only join the dot that are within your brain. It cannot possibly know what lies outside it, by definition. Would it be possible to remove the boundary?

An Example of Personal Motivations.

In my post on LinkedIn to explore this topic, Jessica Fanelli writes that one of her motivations is the thrill of the adventure of achieving a result nobody expects. A result that is thought to be impossible. No doubt this comes from her past experience of achieving the seemingly-impossible with Excel, or seeing others do so. The thrill of the adventure that Excel offers us. And the guarantee of success if you’ve been-there-done-that, or indeed have seen it done before. A firm belief is Excel being more powerful, in your hands, than most people think. Without hesitation I would invite Jessica to my new series ‘Excel Mission Impossible’, a sort of reality show, when it begins production soon.

Marketing and Misaligned Desires.

This brings us to the role of marketing and external influence. What do we think are the limits of Excel? Let’s see. We are constantly being told what we should want–what tools to use, what goals to pursue. But these messages often serve the agendas of those promoting them, not our own deeper needs. For instance, many software companies are eager to demonize Excel in favour of their cloud-based alternatives, and they do so by playing on management’s fears of “spreadsheet hell.” This isn’t about what’s best for the individual or the business; it’s about selling a solution to those who fear Excel and simply ‘having to think’. Believe it or not, this can very scary for some. So, what we’re hearing is not about actual limits of Excel, but what some people with limited need, or want of Excel want to think.

And yet, people often buy into these narratives because they haven’t taken the time to deeply explore their own needs. They don’t know what they really want, so they allow external influences to shape their decisions.

Conclusion: The Importance of Self-Exploration.

So, how do people know what they really want? The answer lies not in surface-level desires or the literal answers to their questions. It lies in self-exploration–understanding what drives you on an emotional level, what your true goals are, and then aligning your actions and decisions with those goals. And, do that free from bias.

The Excel example is just one illustration of this broader truth. Whether in learning, in career decisions, or in personal growth, the challenge is to move beyond the literal and ask the deeper questions. What do you *really* want? Where are you *really* trying to go? And are the tools, techniques, and strategies you’re choosing aligned with that deeper understanding?

Thank you for your attention, and I encourage you to reflect on these ideas as you continue your journey of learning and growth–whether in Excel, in life, or in any pursuit you choose.

You were listening to a lecture by me, Hiran de Silva. Read by Bill.